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"While I can appreciate and respect the concept of anti-music, music by non-musicians, etc., it is with bands like the Cave Bears where I reach my limit. Seems someone came along and told them that anyone can do experimental music and be avant-garde without even trying. Nothing could be more wrong; their effort is little more than pointless bullshit, unable to digest influences correctly and making a mockery of them in the process. A short, incomplete blip of noise followed up by a punishing live set in which the band bring back the Fort Thunder vibe of mid-90?s Providence actually provides the opposite effect, like it was expelled from the ass of that time and place. When taken at face value, it is just a pile of unnecessary rambling pawned off as vocals accompanied by random drum chops with no rhythm or know-how." --Dusted [more press]

Cave BEARS started as a few disparate "pipe" cells which gradually formed clumps and clots and eventually there was the first finger which died and was used by the second finger as a pick to play the third guitar. The sun was just a hot point on the horizon back then because we didnt have up or down and at high noon the fingers would run out puddles of white jism which were gradually hardened by the desert sun, then merely a hot point, into the shape of the first desert nomads who had to climb under rocks and bust dirt if they wanted to hear some swingin tunes cause we didn't have no dope back then. These were the earliest dates of the CABIA CABLAS, the web of points which keeps measure from burning out and into your damn eyes, and so today this has more or less freely congolmerated into a few lumps of ossified vegetable matter with mottled skin stretched over with it and with the price of newspaper advertising being what it is we just call ourselves CAVBARS or CVEBERS to save money and you would call us that too if you didn't want your arm snapped back to fit into our guitar cases better. Our goal is to bring the hot hot desert sun into whatever musical chasm we might be playing from and to make you go away. -- C. Bren & Les Des Gustor

1. When, where and how did the band start up?

The question you should be asking is when we ended. We have had the conviction since the ending that we would be the first band never to have begun but to do a sort of silkworm balancing act off a receding ending date far in the future. That silkstring breaks, and bam: we are in the history books, not as some writeup but as an accident crushed between the pages. I would much rather be a stain an a historical accident than something that ever happened.

2. Please list all members and instruments.

Is there some kind of word limit or bit pulling in our mouths over this interview? You may have to ask your uppers to include some extra pages in order to accomodate the full answer to this question. We volunteer to attach ourselves personally to each copy of the magazine and shout whatever portion was not fit for print. Our primary instrument is the recording medium, which is why at our shows you will always see us facing away from the spectators and towards a box on the periphery. After that all musical instruments are happenstance. The names of the band members depend on your taxonomy, but as listed in the latest lp release (available at Mystery Train records) they include Rachel Hatred, Les Des Gustor, Grecian Urns, Jah Mess, Rotten Sickfred, Candy Abhors, Bulltied Pulsifer, Joshin' Jehosaphat, Tabula Rasamassa, Las Mundas Rotas, Punny Crumbits, Acid Bath, Don Larder Raider & Martyred Mouse. As said the full list would probably require the whole print run of your newspaper for space, so readers can assume (-ED.)

3. Describe the songwriting process for CaVE BEaRS.

Songwriting is a collaboration between tape and a magnet. If we knew how to make the movement of a pen register on audio tape that might be closer to the kind of songwriting you are asking about.

4. What or who are the band's influences?

As the past gets further away science fiction comics writers have to get up on platforms higher and higher elevated from the present date. We are working based on our immediate intuition of whatever the literature only approaches asymptotically. This "science fiction" is not as hard to understand as you might imagine: human culture will become static and everything will be just a degenerated copy-of-a-copy rendition of what you are already familiar with presently: country music will still sound the same as it did in the 1970's except that the singers' limbs and vocal chords are moved externally by radio waves & the lyrics are all about one-note emotions e.g. "I'm angry, angry at you" rather than the complex combination of emotions that is typical for human beings today. In order to help understand this future is the reason why we have mounted several reverse-reenactments of the "Jump To Your Bed" popular game/variety show of the future which will be seared holographically into your locked-focus eyeballs while ten giant mirrors reflect the beauty of the perfect sleepers. We are still working out all the kinks.

5. What is the band's philosophy/motto/creed/mission statement?

Over history the question of perfection has bothered many minds and been expressed in various ways, e.g. "You've got to get the hairs pointing all in one direction" being a popular expression over the importance of getting hairs pointing all in one direction. By deliberately exposing our hairs to the vagaries of weather and electricity we have set ourselves apart once and for all from the rest of recorded man. Charlie McAlister called us once a "cave burial" and that seems about right. Ours is a tragic burial ceremony enacted in cellars and treetops. Everyone else does this or that while Rome burns: we buried that fact and aren't doing anything contemporaneous to anything right now.

6.Any recorded product available?

Have you heard the "Angel 43" single by Marsha Raven? That one might be available. Mystery Train records does have some of our records records, but if you are housebound or fragnetized you may also purchase tapes on a website through the internet. At a show we may throw a special tape at you: we have found that tapes tied to books produce the best parabola.

7. What kind of shows or venues are ideal for CaVE BEaRS?

Thanks to our friend Skot Spear we have played a show inside a rotten shack in Maine. That was our ideal venue for a show that's actually happened. At another trip to Maine we were surprised by a rotten factory that featured an actual "Garden of Smashed Heads." The beams above will be ideal as a catwalk for deformed people missing enough limbs to not be so heavy as to collapse them. For more conventional venues we need help constructing a suitable bubble or box to contain our damages and houseunbrokeness. We prefer not to have any contact with the audience so transparency is not an issue. If you can help with us you can find us at cavebears.suchfun.net

8. Why do you not capitalize all the letters in the band name?

You'll have to ask someone else about this naming convention as I never learned to form any but capital letters.

9. What does the future hold for CaVE BEaRS?

A man imprisoned on an empty spaceship in an alien world becomes so bored that his pacing wears through the bottom of the craft and transpots him to a cave where he captures six animals that are adorable and which he sends to creep into your bedroom at his bidding even from another world to make tiny incisions at the corners of your mouth. Everything has been forgotten: all that remains are a few blaggardy folk ballads, anonymously attributed, and me blowing on a pennywhistle. The future is disposable.


Complete List of Shows (107)

7/12/10: Flywheel w/ Bee Mask, HPV, Noise Nomads, Dooley/Callahan/Crespo

6/18/10: Popeye's Garage w/ Blue Sabbath Black Fiji, We Used To Be Family, Nuerospora...

6/17/10: Gay Gardens, Allston, MA w/ Blue Sabbath Black Fiji, Dick Panthers...

6/16/10: Flywheel w/ Sunburned Hand of the Man, Blue Sabbath Black Fiji, BAAD Kinetics. Played as White Dread w/ Iron Gentleman and B-Dazzle

6/3/10: Flywheel w/ Twilight of the Century, Liz Tonne, Angst Hase Pfeffer Nase. Played as Son Of A Bitch w/ Cruudeuces (Nate Brennan)

5/2/10: The Rendezvous. Turners Falls, MA w/ Jonny Cohen and Dave Gross

5/1/10: 119 Gallery. Lowell, MA w/ Andrea Pensado, Josh Baker, 2Lous

Get Out of the House released

4/21/10: Western Mass INC @ FLywheel w/ Clang Quartet, Laundry Room Squelchers, Noise Nomads, Belltone Suicide, Bromp Treb, Jordan Knecht, Tumble Cat Poof Poofy Poof, Jess Goddard, Dave Russell, Jack Callahan, No Sound, Anthro Rex, and more...

4/20/10: Grey Matter Books w/ Crazy Dreams Band and Matt Valentine / Mick Flower duo

4/19/10: Death By Audio w/ Fat Worm of Error, We Are The Seahorses, Zebu!, White Suns

4/17/10: The Litter Box. New Brunswick, NJ w/ We Are The Seahorses

4/16/10: Big Pink. Philadelphia, PA w/ Bobo and Zebu!

Al Qaeda / Cave Bears split released

3/4/10: Death By Audio w/ Nancy Garcia, Grasshopper, Sord, Zebu!

1/30/10: House Show Allston, MA w/Rotten Apples, Slasher Risk, Duck That, Nathan Whipple, Grasshopper, No Sound, Riddlin'. Don't believe the end!

1/29/10: The Bat Barn Great Barrington, MA w/ The Bunnybrains, Slasher Risk, Grasshopper, Cleint 9

1/12/10: Gret Matter Books Hadley, MA w/Isa Christ, Cruudeuces, Astral Plane Junkies, Jack Callahan, Gastric Lavage/No Sound

1/3/09: Pet Cemetary Baltimore, MD w/ Dazzlestorm

12/31/09: Port D'Or Brooklyn, NY w/ Tom Carter, Asa Christ, Kyle Clyde, Cruudeuces, Invisible Circle, Blissed Out, Many Manisons, Truman Peyote, C.E. Card

12/30/09: Montague Phantom Brain Exchange w/ Id M Theft Able, Shea Mowat, D.B. Russell, Andy Laties & Rebecca Migdal, Ben Hersey, AnthroREX, Bolivia Men, lecture by Matt Krefting, Bromp Treb Soundsystem

Crawl Space and limited run of Solar Illness released

12/18/09: Gonzo Comix/Paper City Studios w/ The Urchestra

12/12-13/09:Dubious Liftings @ Grey Matter Books. two day festival with Visitations/Am Frank, Liz Tonne/Greg Kelley/Vic Rawlings, Tarp, Ambegris, The Body, Prince Rama of Ayodhya, Astral Plane Junkies, Flaming Dragons of Middle Earth, Corvallis Chehalis, Jack Callahan

12/3/09: Garage Show St. Augustine, FL. w/Reptile Theater & Lighthouse

12/2/09: Joint Art Space Sarasota, FL. w/Persephone and Misha's artwork

12/1/09: New College Sarasota, FL. Lecture/Presentation on medical simulation

11/30/09: Fire Ant Mound Charleston, SC. Outside of Charlie McAlister's shed

11/20/09: John Doe Jr. Greenfield, MA w/ White Limousine, Impatient Truck Plus Special Guest, Rotten Apples, Child Bride, Sord

11/15/09: John Doe Jr. Geenfield, MA w/ Slasher Risk, Grasshopper, Gastric Lavage

10/31/09: The Hope & Olive Greenfield, MA w/ Bunnybrains, Heavy Light....

10/24/09: Loft Show Boston, MA w/ Crank Sturgeon, Boston Lamb & Veal, Gang Clan Mafia

10/23/09: Feeding Tube Records w/ Crank Sturgeon, Noise Nomads, Cruudeuces

9/23/09: VG Mill. Holyoke, MA W/ Clan of the Cave Bear, Grey Skull, Gastric Lavage, True/Callahan

9/5/09: House Show. Easthampton, MA. w/ D.B. Russell & Tim Sheldon, the Universes, No Sound, Radioactive Prostitute, Servitor, Reverend Reach Around, Abortus Fever, Cellulara Peptoid

8/29/09: Wickermania. w/ Sunburned/Tarp, Prisma, MV+EE, Whyte Kastles, Baby Jesus Burnout, Bunwinkies, Zebu!, Lord Jeff, Two Tents

8/23/09: The Yurt. Alna, ME. w/ Caethua & Id M Theft Able

8/22/09: Frantasia Festival. Livermore Falls, ME. w/ Id M Theftable, If, Bwana, Katt Hernandez, Audrey Chen, Jed Speare, Martin Chartrand, Skinny Vinny, and scores of others

8/19/09: Strange Maine, Porland, ME. w/ Glade Swope, Twilight People

8/16/09: Weirdstock. Cambridge YMCA w/ Keith Fullerton Whitman, Animal Hospital, Sore Eros, Dreamhouse, Mudboy, White Limousine Impatient Truck + Special Guest, Julian Lynch, Kurt Weisman, Omnivore, Cursillistas, Truman Peyote, Geoff Mullen, Harry Merry, Concord Ballet Orchestra Players, Many Mansions, Ophibre, Robert Stillman, Ming Ming Dance Company, Devil Music, Guatemala City, Harmonizer (Greg Davis), Lord Jeff, Eat Cloud, Goat of Arms, Human Hairs, Skeletons Out, Peace, Loving, Quilt, Ricardo Donoso, Qfwfq, Radio Wonderland, Ppalmm, Tooth ache, Metal and Glass Ensemble, Duck That and Son of Salami

8/15/09: Dubious Liftings. Greenfield, MA w/ Bunny Brains, Big Kids, MV + EE, Flaming Dragons of Middle Earth, Crystalline Roses, Zebu!, Sord, White Crime, Bryan Phantom Fairlane, Danny Cruz

8/6/09: Holyoke, MA w/ Noise Nomads, Belltone Suicide, Two Tents, Ted Lee/Chris Dooley/Brett Richardson/Chris Blair

Chain of Skulls released

7/24/09: Feeding Tube Records. Easthampton, MA. w/ Duck That, We Love You, Tim Albo, No Sound

7/22/09: The Sweatshop. Providence, RI. w/ Diagram A, Neckhold, Shallow Waters. People really hated us. "you hear that?...nothing!" after one meathead thought our set had ended. it had not.

Live at the Whisky released

6/19/09: Mystery Train Records. Amherst, MA. record release show w/ Id M Theft Able and Bromp Treb

6/13/09: Tork Clock. Greenfield, MA w/ Crank Sturgeon, PCRV, Matjaz Galicic

Id M Theft Able / Cave Bears split released

5/31/09: 119 Gallery. Lowell, MA. w/ Deflag Haemorrhage // Haien Kontra, Id M Theft Able / Stephanie Lak duo

5/27/09: Montague Phantom Brain Exchange. C. Bren video work w/ Chris Corsano, Exusamwa....

5/10/09: Whittemore House Marlboro, VT w/ Horse Boys, No Sound, Vapourizor, Pre-School

5/7/09: Upper Valley Events Center, Norwich VT w/ the Son of Salami, Horse Boys, Caring Babies

4/4/09: The Bear Cave, Turners Falls. Caethua, Quincy Quartz, Phased Out, White Crime, Lyttle Tykes

3/17/09: Shiproom of the Hotel Vernon, Worcester bad show w/ loud tapes and mixers

3/14/09: House Show in Lowell w/ Skinny Vinny

3/13/09: Door Haus, Williamsburg, w/ Grey Skull, Slasher Risk, Gastric Lavage, Jow Jow, Grasshopper, Sam Gas Can, Sord, Zebu!

2/14/09: Dubious Liftings Northamton, MA. w/ Crank Sturgeon, Mudboy, Flaming Dragons, Skinny Vinny, Ambergris, D'Ag Attack, Open Star Clusters

1/31/09: The Bear Cave Turners Falls, MA. w/ Lateral Obliques (Bromp Treb + Sam Gas Can), Flaming Dragons of Middle Earth, Bryan Phantom Fairlane

1/10/09: Purple House Northampton, MA. w/ Noise Nomads, Angst Hase/Kwitters/Poofy Poof, Bonos, No Sound, Satisfaction Factory. "Famous Sandwiches" show

Horribble & Useless released

12/12/08: Purple House Northampton, MA. w/ Id M. Theft Able, Shea Mowat, PAK, Horse Boys, No Sound, Big French, Ryan Fox

11/22/08: Strange Maine Portland, ME. Id M. Theft Able, Cave Bears, Prisma, The Magic Lantern Show & Strange Lights and Puppets

11/16/08: The Tinderbox Brattleboro, VT. Fat Worm of Error, Little Women, Cave Bears ("Pizza Face")

11/1/08: Third Annual Dubious Liftings Festival Turners Falls, MA. These acts played in this order: Cave Bears, Servitor, Grey Skull, Heat Wilson, Schurt Kwitters, Dark Inside the Sun, Nam Buddies, Mystic Out-Bop Review, Jow Jow the Death Knell Rung, Moscow Mule/Cave Bears, Bromp Treb, QFWFQ duo, Loren Hamlan.

10/31/08: The Whitehaus Jamaica Plain, Ma. w/ Eric Hnatow, Many Mansions, Prince Rama, White Hinterland among others

10/30/08: The Flux Factory Long Island City, NY. The End of the End of the End. This was a huge happening all happening at once in many rooms of a gian warehouse space. We played in a room with Ducktails, No Sound, Heat Wilson and Greg & Ted's Satisfaction Factory

10/25/08: The Brass Works Haydenville, MA. Lazy Magnet, Bromp Treb, Noise Nomads, Cave Bears, Animental, Pretzel Logic, Pro Bro Gold, Sharkey Katz, Walnut

10/18/08: House Show in Williamsburg, MA. Moscow Mule, Cave Bears, Gastric Lavage, Them Elk, Zebu!, etc...

10/15/08: THE BEAR CAVE Turners Falls, MA. Nackt Insecten, Usurper, Cave Bears. fresh sounds from scotland

10/10/08: Pat Rivets with Loren Hamlan at Umass Amherst, also Heaven People, Brava Spectre & Prince Rama

Assburgers released

9/24/08: Montague Phantom Brain Exchange: not a Cave Bears show, but Pat Rivets played with the Evolutionary Jass Band, which was awesome!

9/15/08: The Elevens Northampton, MA: Barn Owl, Melissa St. Pierre, Cave Bears.

9/12/08: House Show Easthampton, MA: Chris Cooper, Noise Nomads, Cousin Id, Belltone Suicide, Cave Bears, Servitor, Ryan Wynns

9/5/08: House show in South Amherst, MA. (545) DEAD DOGS '91. No Sound played but with many technical difficulties, many others did the same, with less...

8/27/08: Montague Phantom Brain Exchange 8: Crank Sturgeon, Cave Bears, Tarp, lecture by Chris Weisman on "Nonmusical Patterns and Their Musical Use", Black Sand DJ

8/24/08: Strange Maine, Portland, ME: Id M. Theftable, CaVE BeARS, Johan Tore Nystom (solo and duo with Id), Chris Carmody. We did the old cop-donut-porn routine.

8/23/08: Frantasia Music Festival, Livermore Falls, ME. Lineup for the whole three days: Gregg Murphy, To be Named Later by a Non Human, Snow Monks, Lewis Gesner, Audrey Chen, Birdorgan, Cave Bears,Katt Hernandez, Qfwfq Duo, id m theftable, Patrick Walsh, Ed Snyder, Calliope, T. Lion Dance Company, Sarah Kennedy, Evokiai, Mystic Out Bop Review, Johan Tore Nystrom, Greg Boardman, Vic Rawlings, Hooper Piccalero, Killick, Chris Cathode, Les Trois Etoiles, Visitations, Christopher Carmody.

8/20/08: Mars Gas, Olneyville, Providence, RI: CaVE BEaRS, SHV, Sam Gas Can, No Sound v.s. Satisfaction Factory

8/19/08: Death By Audio, Williamsburg, Brooklynn. Zebu!, Cave Bears, Sisters, Fertile Crescent, Ambergris. We got the place really muddy.

8/2/08: Wickermania Festival, Goshen, MA. Visitations, Big Blood, Sunburned Hand of the Man, Gastric Lavage, MV + EE and the Golden Road, Noise Nomads, Cave Bears, Jow Jow the Death Knell Rung, Red Favorite, The White Castles, Two Tents & others...

7/26/08: Dubious Liftings II: Leverett, MA: Moscow Mule, Gastric Lavage, D.B. Russell, Milky Death, Sam Gas Can, Belltonesuicide, The No Sound, Smiles Bitch, Bryan Gillig and the Golden Annies, Greg & Ted's Satisfaction Factory, Dingy Crumbs, Grex, Iron Getleman, Brian McColough, Cave Bears, Hotel California.

7/19/08: Cory's Barn Gill, MA: w/ FLAMING DRAGON OF MIDDLE EARTH and Fashion People. Danny Cruz is a golden god! this is how we joined FDOME

7/18/08: Distant Castle Worcester, MA. With Sam Gas Can and Wet Hair. Show in large mansion structure. Love HBML

7/4/08: Shot off fire works and played guitar to the radio, but it was at a show.

6/28/08: Honey Pot. Zebu! played twice (joy), Great DJ Porter & Piper set. So too was Crystaline Roses. Cave Bears again played a long while, ending with loooong drone jam out of Dad in Paradise that eventually got the power shut of on us. FUCK YOU!

6/27/08: Cave Bears, Bryan Gillig and the Golden Annies, Dingy Crumbs. Western Mass come to the Tinderbox -- Brattleboro, VT. Cave Bears played a marathon version of "Forming" by the Germs in their new!!! bass, drums, guitar lineup.

6/23/08: The Dooryard Portland, ME Computer at Sea, Cave Bears, Zebu!, Sam Gas Can, Snake Guts. Cops came during first band and all bands played their "quiet set". Good times!

6/22/08: Shack Windham, ME Id M. Theft Able, Cave Bears, Shea Mowat. Mang Secret Show No.9, CVEBERS Secret Show no. 4. We played in a frightening shed in the woods, Skot played an amazing synchronized piece with two helpers involving the scrotum. Shea Mowat facilitated his matchbook piece.

6/14/08: House show in Amherst. Secret Show #3. Four kids got arrested due to Amherst Noise laws: no Noise music! Bummer. But we learned some new songs.

6/7/08: The Honey Pot, Hadley MA. Secret Show no. 2. The "best" show so far. Campfire stories, Germs covers and it was raining.

Cannonball Hollow-Cast released as double c96 split with No Sound

5/26/08: Trailer Park on the Connecticut River. Hadley, MA. The Pickles, CaVE BEANS, Zebu!, others. Massive fun/total surprise! First show with our electric wash-boardist.

5/10/08: Dubious Liftings Festival. Leverett, MA. Id M. Theftable, Tumble Cat Poof Poofy Poof, Barn Owl, CaVE BEaRS, Ducktails, No Sound, ZEBU! & The Glorious Nightmare, Bonos, Mind Control Dudes, Slush Rakes, Dingy Crumbs, Satisfaction Factory, Extreme Beer Trio.

5/3/08: House Show in Wilbraham, MA. w/ WesternMassHardcore4Lifexxx(413)til'Death (Extreme Beer Trio) Played for about three hours total. Fun times by the "lake".

4/26/08: CaVE BEaRS played a 9-11 tribute set during the Hampshire College Spring Jam festivities as Dead Prez's roadies took the stage down.
One kid: "Leave us the fuck alone!"

Geen Teets Released

3/28/08: MassArt, Boston. Played cardboard instruments. Dog shits on the floor.

3/26/08: The Harp Amherst. Guaranteed only appearance at this local hot spot w/ CB string duo!

3/21/08: House Show @ the Bear Cave in Leverett MA. With Dead and Skunks, Mind Control & The No Sound. Very Loooong.

3/1/08: The Tinderbox, Brattleboro Vt. Zairz//Ski Mask, Belltone Suicide, Mind Control. "Cat Picture Part Two".

Burning Tri-Pyramid Prism released

2/25/08: House Show Amherst, MA. Justice Yeldham, Buddies (Bill Nace + Chris Cooper), Zebu!, Id M Theftable, Cave Bears. "Cat Picture Part One"

1/14/08: The Elevens. There is no Art in Cave Bears. Garage Night.

12/15/07: Mercy House Flywheel Benefit. Fat Worm of Error, Bunnies, Cave Bears, Zebu!, Doe Pog

12/22/07: House Show. Hazet/Cave Bears. Vile.

12/8/07:Mystery Train Records. Amherst Acoustic "Dixie".

Just Dads released

11/8/07: Florence, MA VFW: Shallants, Zebu!, Cave Bears, Thrill Pillow, Delicious Dinner.

11/4/07: Marlboro College Halloween: Pariah Beat, Bunnies, ??? Dropped L.

10/5/07: Marlboro College. We Are The Seahorses, Cave Bears, Id M. Theftable, Dinosaur Bones, Real Life Time Machines, Zebu, The AnArkestra "Jump to Your Bed"

7/7/07: Goodbye Blue Monday, Brooklyn, New York. Post Boa-drum.

6/3/07: Cake Shop NYC. Soiled Mattress & The Springs, Casper Electronics, Cave Bears, Films by Martha Colburn. Featuring Smiles "Holy, Holy, Holy".

Jazz Hands released

7/06: Common Ground, New Orleans. Poisoned Black Mold Acoustic. JUST DADS

3/18/06: Flywheel, Easthaphantom, MA. Cave Bears, Laudable Puss, Josh Burkett. We put a hole in the wall.

3/16/06: Tavern. Sir Richard Bishop, Jackie-O-Muthufutherfucker, Grey Skull, CaVE BEaRS, Eloe Omoe. some sort of confusion

Live CDr released in edition with dead animal parts {deleted}

1/06: The Tavern Amherst, MA feat. no drums set. Some sort of awful.

11/4/05: Red Barn Amherst, MA. Debut Psycho Mash, featuring a drums set Some sort of circus.

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